Why It Works

Chris is my boyfriend :D I love him and I know he loves me, but like every couple we have our disagreements. Unlike a lot of other couples, however, our disagreements never become full fledged fights. I hadn't really thought about why until the other day at work.
I was looking at a poster, in a kindergarten classroom. It was about playing fair and it listed a few rules. I found that with the exception of one rule, Chris and I were following these children's rules for getting along when we disagree. I also thought that if other couples could try them out maybe their arguments would be more productive and less destructive.

Rules:


1. Don't use unkind words ~ In grown-up terms.... Don't swear

2. Be willing to discuss the problem ~ Seriously how can you solve a problem if you don't talk about it?

3. Be willing to listen to each other ~ If you aren't listening a simple misunderstanding can tear apart a relationship.

4. Be willing to walk away to calm down ~ This is actually the one I have trouble following... I prefer to solve the problem right then and there, but I do understand that sometimes people are too angry to talk right then, and maybe it's best to back off and talk later.

5. Be ready to make a plan together ~ This is the hard part for a lot of people... Compromise. Talk about what you both want and then figure out a way to make it work. It's not about winning, it's about coming up with something that works for both people.

6. Be willing to apologize ~ Again, it's not about winning or losing. I wonder how many relationships end simply because one member isn't willing to admit that they were wrong.

7. Be able to control your anger ~ Yelling, swearing, throwing things, slamming doors, threats, violence.... none of that is going to solve the problem.

8. Be ready to compromise and meet in the middle ~ This goes back to number 5... which tells me that it's probably the most important and should be self explanatory.

Now I don't claim to know anything about relationships... Actually this is the first relationship I've been in that has a real chance of succeeding. But we love each other, and I think that we can make it with a lot of love, respect, and understanding.

a New Year

It's been a while since I wrote. With the new year things got better, which is kinda funny since my father said he was sure they would this year.
I love my job.m I'm now working in a kindergarten classroom and it's great. I feel really appreciated.
Alex is doing well. He's mouthy, creative, bad mannered, artistic, intelligent and constantly gets in trouble in his pre-k class... all in all he's a normal five year-old boy.
I have a boyfriend!!! Yay!! We've known each other for almost a year, but in the last few months things have started to get serious, and I really love him. He's my best friends too.

So things are better. I still think about Anna constantly. I struggle with what happened. The decisions I made, the pain I feel. Nothing will ever change all of that, but slowly, very slowly, I am learning to live my life.... And it is good.