Today

Today I am okay. I've been spending a lot of time with my friends. Life has been mostly ok.
Alex is getting older. In two weeks his Pre-K class is having a father's day party, they want the fathers to come in. I worry about this. It's times like this that it will be obvious to Alex and his peers that he is different, that he doesn't have a father.
It almost brought me to tears when I got the notice about the party. I don't want my son to suffer for my choices. I wouldn't give up Alex for anything, but I do wish I had the ability to give him a father of his own.
I asked my father if he would go to the party, I suppose a grandfather is better than no father at all. I really hope he makes it, I know he's very busy with work. If not my only option is keeping him home that days. I don't want my child to deal with other children who will notice that his father isn't there. I don't want him to have to explain to his little friends that he doesn't live with his dad, or see his dad.
I just want my son to be happy.