As yet another family tragedy occurs;a family member lost a child late in pregnancy. I lay here in my bed and contemplate how unfair life, an death are.
As I've said before, I don't think my life is any worse than anyone elses, but sometimes it sure feels that way. I have friends who's biggest tragedy for the day is getting into a fight with their mom, I can't even do that, my mom's dead. Some of my friends complain about how much trouble their children get into. I have my son and although he get's into trouble, I thank God everyday for giving him to me and remember the daughter that I wanted so badly and how much it hurt to hold her in my arms as she breathed her last breath. My little sister recently had a baby I know she wanted, with a man I know she loved. In a tragic twist, he died before his only child was ever born.
Tragedy seems to follow my family. As soon as things are going well, everything gets dark again. I used to be a religious girl, as a woman I'm afraid I have given up on God more and more as everything I ever wanted has been snatched away from me. That's not to say I don't believe in God, it's to say I don't understand why things are the way they are... and maybe I never will.
My mother always said life wasn't fair... I now know how right she was.
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